Book review & author interview: The Secret Life of Dorothy Soames - A Memoir
Justine Cowan didn’t intend to write a book about her mom. At least, not at first. The Atlanta attorney was planning on writing about her experiences litigating a case in rural Georgia. But the circumstances surrounding her mother’s upbringing was a mystery that needed to be solved.
As a child growing up in the Bay area, Justine and her mom had a strained relationship. Her mother was relentless with the after-school lessons and criticism, but not so generous with her comfort or affection. She held Justine to exacting standards. Why? Maybe it was her own childhood; Justine’s mother was polished and poised, and perhaps connected to the British aristocracy. Her mother’s carefully crafted persona began to splinter; however, when young Justine came home to find her mom writing a name over and over: Dorothy Soames.
Years later, following the death of her mother, Justine began to dig into her family’s past. She discovered, shockingly, that her mother did not grow up on an estate in England. Dorothy Soames was the name assigned to her as an infant at the Hospital for the Maintenance and Education of Exposed and Deserted Young Children.
The Secret Life of Dorothy Soames: A Memoir unravels the story of Dorothy (whose real name is Eileen) and her mother Lena, a young unwed woman who was forced by family and society to give up her infant. It details the years of physical and emotional abuse Dorothy faced at the Foundling Hospital, and how her resilience impacted her future relationships. The book also explores the history of the Foundling Hospital, an institution established in the 1700s to raise the children of unmarried mothers and prepare them for a life serving England’s ruling class. Many of the hospital’s guiding principals were shaped by Victorian notions of discipline and virtue.
As Justine presents her case to us through images, historic documents, and personal anecdotes, we learn about the Foundling Hospital and its influence on Western culture. Readers also learn how procedures established hundreds of years ago continue to affect families for generations. Author Justine Cowan graciously discussed her experiences writing this memoir.
Q: You take your readers on a very emotional journey. It’s exciting and insightful, but can also be frustrating and incredibly disheartening. What motivated you to want to revisit all of those experiences in writing this book?
A: When I first set out to write a book, it was not going to be about my mother’s life. It was going to be about litigating in rural Georgia, and the adventures of a woman litigating against large companies. It was going to be Praying for Sheetrock meets Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. But then, as I started to unravel my mother’s life, it became really clear that it was a story that had to be told, because it’s a really important part of history that hadn’t been told in the way I told it.
When I first started, I was focused on telling my mother’s story. Then, it became really clear that there was also my grandmother’s story. Then, as I was doing my grandmother’s story, I realized that you couldn’t tell their story without looking at the historical aspect – what happened in the past, and how the past impacted them. Then, it became clear that my story was intertwined with all of that, as well. The real takeaway from what happened is how decisions that were made over 200 years ago had a direct and profound impact on my family two centuries later. It would be a story half told if you didn’t talk about the impact on the next generation.
Q: You mentioned exploring your family history as well as what happened at the Foundling Hospital. Without spoiling any elements for the readers, was there anything in the Hospital’s rules for the admission of children that surprised you?
A: Yes! As a lawyer, the way we deal with children is “what’s in the best interest of the child.” What surprised me was that the admission to the hospital had nothing to do with the best interest of the child. It had everything to do with the woman who was attempting to find a home for her child, and whether or not she was virtuous. That had to be determined by her going in front of a panel of men, and then also sending people out to the countryside to interview and get reports from all the men in her life – whether or not she was virtuous. It was astonishing! That’s where I definitely got a little riled up. Looking back in history, when we talk about whether or not women are believed, you can see it there, as well as in our current state of affairs.
Q: While we’re talking about being “believed,” your Mom presented herself as someone who was elegant and poised; she even hinted at a privileged or aristocratic background. At what point did you realize, or begin to realize, that this wasn’t true? That she didn’t have a privileged background?
A: I had hints that not all was what it seemed the day I found her in her room, writing the name Dorothy Soames. In terms of understanding that she had not actually received training in piano and painting, and that her accent was not what she’d grown up with, that really did not come until probably the day my father said, “No, your mother did not go to the Royal Academy of Music in London.” I was in my 40s when that happened. I was stunned; I didn’t know.
It was clear throughout my whole life that there was something else going on. But my mother seems like a charming, British, refined woman. Always. That was believable.
Q: It’s very brave, the honesty and transparency with which you describe your relationship with your mother. How has the feedback been to those descriptions?
A: It’s been pretty amazing how much my story has resonated with people. Of course, I have gotten outreach from Foundlings and the children of Foundlings. The Foundlings who have reached out to me have said, “this is what happened,” and you could tell that for the very first time, they felt heard. The children of the Foundlings have all reached out to me and said, “I felt like I was reading my story.” So, it’s clear that inter-generational trauma is a thing, and it really happens.
But I’ve also heard from so many other people that it resonated with them in some way, that they might have a difficult relationship with somebody in their life. It might not be their mother. It could be somebody else. Also, them understanding intergenerational trauma and how things that happened in the past influence present relationships. It’s been overwhelmingly positive.
There were a couple of reviewers in England who were a little bit perturbed that an American was criticizing a venerated British institution. But even in England, [the book] has been incredibly well received. People seem to be overwhelmingly grateful that the story’s being told.
Q: Going back to your experience as an attorney, do you think your legal background helped you or hindered you in the investigating and writing process?
A: It absolutely helped me. As an attorney and former litigator, for every single case, you had to get up to speed on what the topic was. You just learned how to do that. You learned how to dig into government files and how to put together a competent narrative. You understand instinctively what a good source is. I’m not sure I could have done it without my legal training. Hopefully I’ve proven that lawyers can write – and not just briefs! I hope that lawyers take to heart that you can write a book, change your career, and delve into something new at any point in your career.
Q: What’s next for you?
A: I practice part-time with Pro Bono Partnership of Atlanta, and then the other part of the time I do the book. I’m going to start working on book #2 (which was supposed to be book #1). It’s about my adventures litigating in rural Georgia. It’s all about this one case that I worked on, fighting off a landfill in Taliaferro County [pronounced “Tolliver”]. The book will talk about some local Atlanta activists, and it will tie the past to the present. I want to focus on what it’s really like to litigate, as a woman, and how the past is connected to the present.
Justine Cowan is a part-time staff attorney with Pro Bono Partnership of Atlanta and a member of the Atlanta Bar Association. To learn more about Justine and The Secret Life of Dorothy Soames, visit justinecowan.com.